One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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