Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
