I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
