You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
