Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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