oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
