once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
