Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
