You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
