I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
