Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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