I showed him my bush... on skype.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
