Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
