so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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