did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
