Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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