just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
