I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
