Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
