just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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