Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Randomize
