I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
