Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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