How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
