Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
not ubering you a puppy
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
