Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
