Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
