Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
