he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
