what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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