is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
