Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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