The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
