dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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