my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
