I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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