Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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