So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize