Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
