Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
