So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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