i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Also, beer. Big fan.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
