tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
