the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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