i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
