You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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