sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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