Can Purell be used as lube?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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