Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
