Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
