I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
