The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
