guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I love having hate sex.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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